ABC fires the entire staff following debate backlash: “Our Biggest Mistake Yet”

Following a post-debate backlash wave, ABC decided to terminate its entire workforce in a corporate cleansing reminiscent of a dystopian novel. From seasoned anchors to cafeteria staff, no one was immune to the network’s rapid reaction to the outcry that followed its now-infamous Trump vs. Harris debate. Critics on both sides of the political aisle have stated unequivocally: No one can expect to leave the office alive after fact-checking a political discussion in 2024.

ABC moderators attempted to fact-check Donald Trump’s slew of colorful assertions in real time for an eventful 90 minutes, but the network faced such intense public outrage that even their well-prepared public relations campaign collapsed faster than a healthcare policy discussion. Between claims of bias from Trump supporters and concerns about excessive moderating, ABC’s upper brass seemed to have determined that firing everyone was the only way to remedy their image problem.

“We assumed fact-checking would be welcomed,” a network executive allegedly stated as they emptied out their office, “but, well, turns out we were dead wrong. In retrospect, we should have simply let them shout at each other nonstop. The American people enjoy a good brawl. “Who knew?”

some fun GIFs to keep things interesting,” one executive thought. Best of all, the bots won’t care if they lose their jobs later.
The public reaction to ABC’s decision to terminate its entire staff has been as polarizing as the argument itself. Conservative pundits applauded the decision, asserting that leftist bias had “corrupted” the network and an overhaul was long overdue.

“Finally, accountability in the media,” one conservative commentator tweeted. “Let’s teach all networks that disrespecting Trump has consequences.”

Meanwhile, progressives chastised ABC for not taking a more nuanced approach to dealing with the response. “Firing the entire staff doesn’t solve anything,” stated one liberal critic. “It just demonstrates that networks are willing to sacrifice their employees in order to save face. ” We need better media, not fewer journalists.”

Then there were others in the center who wondered how a simple argument could have such serious repercussions. “So, wait—they fired everyone because of Twitter complaints?” said a perplexed viewer. “Maybe we should just stop having debates altogether.”
With its whole crew gone, ABC has entered the unknown ground. The network, which formerly prided itself on journalistic brilliance, is currently experiencing an existential crisis. Will it start over with a new team of fresh faces, or will it shift to something else different—such as reality TV, where facts are optional and indignation is profitable?

Only time will tell if ABC can recover from this latest disaster, but one thing is certain: in an age of fact-free arguments and internet-fueled indignation, no network is immune from the firing squad.

And for the rest of the media, the message is clear: don’t bother fact-checking. Just let the candidates speak, and let Twitter determine who is telling the truth.